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Written by Kat Bittner, member of Iron Rose Sister Ministries Board of Directors in Colorado Springs, CO
“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine…” (1 Pet. 1:6-7, NLT)
Many years ago, I suffered the loss of a sweet friend. It was sudden and unexpected. For the first time in my adult life, I dealt with a grief never before experienced. And I was profoundly changed. Marked by anger, bitterness, and indifference, this overwhelming grief obscured my blessings. I had no desire to work. I had no desire to fellowship. I couldn’t even occupy myself with things I loved to do, like cooking. I had done a lot of that with Hope. All the bustling delightful things in me were gone and I had no more joy. Or so I thought.
“…For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.” (Jer 31:13, NKJV)
Months later I attended a ladies’ Bible class which focused on how to restore our spirit following a time of rejection. The word “rejection” caught my attention. This is what I felt following Hope’s death. I felt rejected by God. He had given me this tender friendship which I had been longing for since moving to Colorado. He had given me someone with whom I could be genuine and transparent. And after 18 months, it had ended. God answered my prayer. And then my soul was crushed.
Yet, further study into God’s Word helped me understand that if I reconsidered my grief, I could redefine my joy. One thing paramount was to stop asking God, “Why?” and begin asking, “What do I do with this?” In trials, our energy needs to shift from being angry and indifferent to understanding how God works in us for His will and pleasure (Phil 1:13, NKJV). If that’s true, He couldn’t possibly be pleased with our wallowing and sour attitude.
With this recognition of God’s desire, I came to see the blessing in knowing Hope rather than fixating on my loss. I found blessing in seeing Hope in her daughter’s face. I found pleasure in attending her son’s wrestling meets and cheering him on as she did. I even began immersing myself in new recipes just because I thought Hope might like them. Slowly over time, my grief was tapered. My anger was assuaged. My bitterness was soothed. And my mourning turned into joy. I found joy in the memories of our wonderful albeit short time together. I rejoiced to have had a friend with shared passions. I found joy in watching her children grow. I even found joy in her husband’s capacity to love again and marry years later.
Joy had been redefined. It had gone from being something I thought was adrift to something that was immutable. I simply needed to see it amidst my pain. Joy needs to be unveiled. What a blessing to truly live out the words of James and “count it all joy” (James 1:2, NKJV) when in even the worst of circumstances. It makes all the difference to know that joy eclipses our affliction. And it can transform our faith.
How will you unveil joy and be redefined by it?
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Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries, in Searcy, AR
Joy. That would not typically be the word one would use to describe the process of iron sharpening iron. Uncomfortable. Vulnerable. Challenging. Revealing. Humbling. Painful. Those are words that more aptly describe a reaction to discipline, or to one’s faults being pointed out.
When we are children, we are on the receiving end of discipline and correction. My friend’s one-year-old son was screaming mad at her for not letting him play with the trash. The young student may be convinced that she knows how to count, but when she, like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, skips sixteen, she needs to know of her error. Later, the nursing student may not like her mistakes being highlighted by the supervisor, but the training she receives while in a simulation lab is invaluable when it comes time to treat a patient.
How can we learn if we are never corrected?
Spiritually speaking, God uses the Bible is one of our best tools for correction and instruction.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16-17)
One of the other ways that God teaches us is through the iron sharpening iron, one another relationships in His name.
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (Prov. 27:17)
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Col. 3:16)
When my brothers and sisters in Christ point something out to me that I need to learn, a mistake that I have made, or something I may not be seeing clearly, my initial response is to cringe at being pricked and convicted by my error. However, when I recognize that this is done out of love… when they come to me privately and have prayed over what they are going to say… when we work together to see how God can help me apply this new knowledge… I truly am grateful and filled with joy.
This is a joy that the world would not define in the same way. And it is not a joy that many would seek out—a joy from being corrected by iron sharpening iron.
Through Iron Rose Sister Ministries, one of the things that we make a priority through the equipping and encouraging process is to have Iron Rose Sisters that will be the best cheerleaders for you to be the beautiful rose that God has created you to be. An important part of that Iron Rose Sister relationship is the courage, love, and grace shown through the process of iron sharpening iron level accountability and correction.
My challenge for you today is to pray 1) that God will provide an Iron Rose Sister in your life to bring you joy through the process of correction and growth, and 2) that God will fill you with wisdom when you are given the opportunity to serve as iron sharpening iron for an Iron Rose Sister.
When iron sharpens iron, there may be sparks of strong words. It may cause the temporary pain of conviction. Yet may we remember the eternal joy and gratefulness we have to be molded and shaped more into the image of Christ.
We are redefining joy through the process of iron sharpening iron. Pray that God will lead you to the right person with whom you can share in the Common Threads this week. Choose someone with whom you can be honest and genuine in your desire to grow and bloom. We all have thorns that are hindering our growth. And we are all given the opportunity to dig deeper and have someone hold us accountable.
If you are willing, we would love to hear from you about how this went for you and an Iron Rose Sister. We can rejoice together in all God is doing through each of our lives.