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Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Executive Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries
“Teaching and Learning through Relationships” was our 2023 theme. Thank you to the many writers whose voices expounded upon this through Scripture and those who shared their own stories of the practice lived out.
Relationships, whether in a formal or informal context, foster an environment for teaching, learning, modeling, and mentoring. Over time, those relationships deepen. Yet no relationship will deepen without a commitment to that relationship.
Luis and Faby Gómez and I, along with a few other Venezuelans who served briefly, collaborated to establish a new congregation in East Caracas. Early on, we compared the birthing of a new church to the birthing of a child. And when you are part of that process together, you are family for life!
We were there together in the highest highs and the lowest lows. As a new congregation, we prayed together, broke bread together, shared meals, spent time in the Word, and fellowshipped. As a team, we trudged through the challenging trenches of persecution, threats from neighbors, and the stumbles of baby Christians learning to walk in Christ. We taught, learned, and grew. We made mistakes and we forgave.
At a couple of points of deep despair and persecution, I remember reflecting on whether to continue. Prayerfully, we each made an individual and group commitment to God and to one another. We were going to persevere, stay the course, and trust God through the trials.
More than twenty years later, I reflect on those early years and the ongoing depth of family relationship I have with my friends Luis and Faby, as well as their boys, Daniel and Andrés. Having moved to Venezuela full-time when Daniel was only seven months old, I was delighted when his first word was, “Chel” (his “aunt name” for me).
Thankfully, we have been able to maintain a strong commitment to our familial relationships. They consider my parents their North American parents. People have often asked if I am Luis’ sister since I know so many of his stories as a boy and his family members. I visited Faby’s family more than once over the holidays and have even stayed with her brother and sister-in-law now living in Uruguay.
This depth of relationship and intimate knowledge of one another does not happen overnight. It requires commitment, sacrifice, and vulnerability.
Up until the pandemic halted my travel, I was able to see and continue Kingdom work alongside the Gómez family face-to-face, for at least a week, 16 years in a row. Lord willing, I will be with them again for a visit in August 2024.
I am eternally grateful to God for Luis and Faby, Daniel and Andrés, and for dozens of deep friendships as co-laborers in the Kingdom (Php. 1:5-6)! A history and pattern of transparency was established and furthered as Christian brothers and sisters. Many have not been easy, but with God at the center, they have been possible… because of our mutual commitment.
Commitment to God and commitment to one another are required for deepening relationships.
As we transition from an emphasis on “Teaching and Learning through Relationships,” I encourage you to keep those lessons in mind. “Commitment to Christ, 24/7 in 2024” cannot happen without relationships.
The greatest depth of relationship illustrated was between Father and Son when Jesus Christ became flesh and dwelt among us (Jn. 1:1, 14).
I challenge you today to renew your commitment to teaching and learning through our most vital relationship as followers of Christ. Through that commitment, depth will follow. Time, communication, and shared experiences will enrich a deep relationship with the Giver of Life. It is in Him that we can “live and move and have our being” (Ac. 17:28 NIV).
Written by Brenda Davis, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Arkansas
“Above all, love each other deeply.” (1 Pe. 4:8a NIV)
God did not create us to go through life alone. I am blessed to be surrounded by people that I love and by those who love me. God’s Word is filled with reminders that we need to love each other. Jesus spoke plainly about how we are to love. “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (Jn. 15:12).
But is simply loving enough? Paul tells the Romans that they need to “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Ro. 12:10 ESV). I love this concept. Imagine how the world would be if everyone tried to outdo one another in showing honor? Peter also goes above and beyond encouraging us to love when he says we need to love each other deeply.
This deep love is demonstrated in the relationship between Paul and Onesimus. The two became such close friends that Paul refers to Onesimus as “my very heart” (Phm. 1:12). Another touching story of this kind of love is that of David and Jonathan found in the books of 1 and 2 Samuel. Their relationship was built on loyalty, trust, and love so deep that Jonathan even risked his life to protect David from his father's anger.
If you Google “How to deepen your spiritual relationships” you will get about 293,000,000 results! Thankfully, the Scriptures provide ample guidance for how to develop this deeper kind of love.
Begin by focusing your relationships on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Php. 4:8). As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Encourage one another and build one another up.”
Here are three additional suggestions for developing deeper love in our relationships.
Stay in the Word Together
Deep relationships are based on Biblical truths. When we are not digging into the Scriptures to see how to love deeply, it’s hard to build a relationship based on truth and honesty. But when we let the Scriptures guide us, our relationships will grow and reach maturity, as Paul states in Ephesians 4:15 (NIV). "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Have Deeper Conversations
Conversation with someone we love should edify us and “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24b). But we often spend entire conversations talking about our children, current events, and social activities, ignoring opportunities to dig deep into each other’s life instead of sharing our stories, struggles, and dreams.
To go deep, these conversations often mean delving into difficult areas, and we may be presented with some hard truths. Messy conversations are part of spiritual growth, and the more truthful we are, the messier and more painful it can be. But “wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Pr. 27:6a). Depth takes courage!
When you love someone deeply, it's almost like there's nothing you can't share with them. You can tell them how you truly feel, knowing that you will not betray each other’s trust. "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret" (Pr. 11:13). You know they won't judge you, and when you experience this lack of judgment, you'll feel safe and secure.
In addition, you can bring up touchy subjects with them because you know that you can be open and honest. Are you an honest friend? Do you only tell those you love what they need to hear, or is it more important that they like you? When we love deeply, we tell them the truth when we see them going the wrong way, even if it may hurt at first.
Listen
At times, you can communicate more with just your presence than with words. Deep love means giving focused attention without interrupting. Maintaining eye contact and actively listening to what the other person has to say and responding with sincere facial expression and body language sends a strong message of love.
James exhorts us to be “quick to listen,” and “slow to speak” (Jas. 1:19-20). In Proverbs 18:2 we read, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (ESV). So, Paul says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Php. 2:3-5).
Dear sisters, love deeply! “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you” (1 Th. 3:12).
